There’s a pervasive belief among coaches that we just need our first client or two, and then the rest will come by referral. This myth is stubborn and persists among many (most?) coaches, from those with little corporate experience to those who have held very senior corporate roles. The belief is simple – get started, do good work, and word-of-mouth will handle everything else.
The problem is that this is not true for the majority of coaches.
Referrals do come eventually, but if you’re starting from scratch, they’re typically a development that occurs in year two or three. The timeline isn’t months – it’s years – and even then, referrals in coaching often work slightly differently than in other professional services.
When I say “starting from scratch,” I mean coaches who do not have existing monetisable credibility – those without existing networks of senior decision-makers who can approve coaching budgets, commission corporate contracts, or afford premium rates based on established trust. These coaches have no corporate contacts senior enough to purchase coaching, no high-level professional network built over decades, and no one immediately willing to pay £150+ per session because of an existing relationship. They must build recognition, trust, and credibility entirely through their marketing efforts, rather than leveraging established professional relationships where the groundwork for business development was laid years before they became coaches. This isn’t a put-down in any way – it’s a pragmatic truth about coach client acquisition.
Privilege
Those of us with monetisable credibility often fail to recognise our own privilege. We genuinely believe our success came purely from good conversations and quality coaching, but we fail to recognise the structural advantage we started with.
Those of us who had this monetiseable credibility leveraged existing networks of senior decision-makers who could approve coaching budgets. Our good conversations happened within established relationships where trust already existed. When the experience of this kind of coach is shared as proof that referrals work quickly, we’re unconsciously demonstrating privilege, not process.
When I mention this dynamic, coaches with existing networks often become defensive, as if I’m suggesting they didn’t work hard to achieve what they have. I’m absolutely not suggesting that. What I am suggesting is that they started from a fundamentally different position than coaches without existing professional networks.
This monetiseable credibility truth creates a dangerous myth. Training providers often hold up these privileged coaches as examples of what’s achievable with good conversations, without recognising or acknowledging the distinct advantage they possessed. The result is that coaches without networks waste months or years trying to replicate a business model that was never designed for their starting position.
The idea that you just need the first client or two and the rest will come by referral is particularly prevalent in collaborations where groups of coaches band together after training to set up joint practices. I’ve heard of this happening most often among graduates of prestigious training schools, where senior professionals assume their combined networks will generate sufficient referrals.
These collaborations gradually dissolve as the clients don’t appear. Partners who expected large corporate contracts to flow from their existing contacts discover that even their professional networks don’t automatically translate into coaching clients.
The Structural Reality of Coaching Referrals
Coaching referrals face unique structural limitations that don’t apply to other professional services. Unlike recommending an accountant or solicitor, some coaching clients may not want anyone to know they’ve had coaching. This kind of client will never refer, regardless of the results achieved.
When referrals do happen, they can be confidential. Colleagues might privately share their “secret weapon” with someone struggling, but these conversations happen behind closed doors, not in the open, professional recommendations common in other sectors.
This confidential nature means referral generation can be slower and more limited than we expect. Even excellent coaches working with delighted clients may wait months between referrals, not because their work isn’t valued, but because of the discretion some coaching clients prefer.
Marketing From Scratch
Marketing from scratch is a slow burn. Once you know what you’re doing with marketing – when you have a process and system to follow – those of us with good existing networks, particularly on LinkedIn, might start getting enquiries within the first month. This isn’t because of referrals – it’s because they’ve finally started articulating what they do in language that makes sense to their existing contacts.
The people in their network already know, like, and trust them. When coaches stop talking about the coaching process and start speaking to specific challenges their network faces, those contacts often reach out for support. This can feel like natural referral generation, but it’s actually effective targeting of existing relationships.
Coaches who cling to the referral myth avoid learning systematic client acquisition because they don’t believe they need it. This is particularly true for coaches accustomed to professional success when they do things their own way (ie improvise). What this kind of coach fails to realise is that improvisation works best within existing skill and knowledge sets. Trying to improvise client acquisition without understanding marketing fundamentals is like trying to improvise surgery without medical training.
When these improvised approaches fail, coaches often internalise the failure. They believe something is wrong with them when the real issue is that they’re trying to succeed without the necessary skills. They blame themselves for failing at something they were never taught.
ALL Marketing Is Focused
Coaches who eventually surrender the improvisation approach and commit to learning systematic client acquisition consistently report the same revelation – they were nowhere near specific enough in their targeting, language, or market research.
The referral myth had convinced them that broad appeal was better than focused messaging. They believed that casting wide nets would generate more opportunities than speaking to specific personal or professional challenges directly.
This realisation usually comes after months (or even years) of ineffective effort. Once we accept the need for specificity, we can start building a client acquisition pipeline. The time lost believing in referral myths can represent a significant opportunity cost.
Moving Beyond The Myth
Word-of-mouth marketing has genuine limitations that coaching culture seems not to acknowledge. Referrals are valuable when they happen, but they’re not a reliable foundation for business development, especially in the early years. The main reason for this is that we have zero control over when we receive a referral.
Successful coaches understand that systematic client acquisition isn’t about compromising integrity or being pushy. It’s about taking responsibility for your business success rather than hoping others will do the work for you.
The coaches who thrive are those of us who recognise that building a business requires different skills from delivering coaching. This kind of coach accepts that referrals are a bonus, not a strategy, and invests in learning systematic approaches to client acquisition.
Referrals will come eventually, but if you’re waiting for them to build your business, you’re likely to become part of that 82% who give up before they ever really begin.
An Opportunity
If you’d like the opportunity for a robust conversation about this, why not join my free challenge, Nail Your Niche? There’s even an option to upgrade to a VIP version, which gives you 3 x 60-minute group mentoring sessions with me for just £99 (inc VAT).
Are you ready to challenge your thinking about the reality of finding the first client or two and the rest coming by referral? Register for the challenge by clicking here.
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